The Romantic Lead

By: Nicolette Cavallaro

It’s a character we all know well. She’s Iris Simpkins of ‘The Holiday,’ wrapped in a colorful scarf, crying over her computer. She is Renée Zellweger in ‘Bridget Jones’s Diary,’ wearing a frumpy sweater and a claw clip. She is Juliet in ‘Love, Actually,’ running around London searching for meaning and romance.  These women are messy in a sexy way, and when she isn’t dealing with the romantic subplot of her story, she can be found nursing a classic novel or working at her job in publishing. To escape into them is to become the main character, the ‘it girl,’ the one who gets kissed at the top of the Eiffel Tower or the Empire State Building at the end of the film. 

These caricatures have existed since the dawn of romantic comedy, but only recently have we given them a name: “The Frazzled English Woman,”  a slightly disheveled character who can be seen carrying a tray of coffee and running around in thick scarves, messy buns, and long coats. The name can be traced back to RUSSH, an Australian fashion magazine that coined it in 2022, deeming it the aesthetic for ‘not planning tomorrow’s outfit the night before.’

While this may seem insulting, the title rises in popularity on social media every time the leaves start to change colors and the wind picks up. As of this season, the hashtag on TikTok has thousands of videos. This content includes  ‘Frazzled English Woman Essentials,’ which features thrifting advice for those on the lookout for long tweed coats, oversized sweaters, and unflattering scarves, and ‘Turning Myself into a Frazzled English Woman,’ showing a girl with extremely teased hair getting dressed in a pleated skirt, a slightly tattered turtleneck sweater, and plaid cabbie hat. Her outfit is completed with a leather-bound copy of ‘Great Expectations.’ On Pinterest, the aesthetic is a collection of film stills, usually featuring Keira Knightley or Kate Winslet in cardigans and messy hair, with claw clips and excessive bobby pins. Its real-life applicability is debatable, but it has definitely had an impact on those who are keen on internet aesthetics.

When she first heard about it at the beginning of the autumnal season, Letícia Veras Da Silva, 18, it made her think of characters from early 2000s romcoms that brought a mixture of cozy and chaotic, effortlessly cool and messy – the type of woman she wanted to become, she says. On Substack, she posted a list of books she believed this crazed but irresistible woman would read, like ‘Sense and Sensibility’ and ‘The Bell Jar’: “I kind of imagined them having a taste for the classics, like beautifully written novels; Stories that are real but also have a certain romanticism in them,” she says. To Da Silva, reading these books made her the perfect romantic character, the heroine in a messy bun. “It’s such a cute and romanticized vision that seems impossible to exist in the real world.”  

This romanticism seems to speak to many fans of the trend, including former theater actress turned freelance lifestyle journalist Kristen Garaffo, 37, who wrote an essay about being one of these ‘Frazzled English Women.’ As an extremely busy woman who is always on the go and loves a good chunky sweater, Garaffo felt connected to the trend, utilizing it as a comfort when her days were overwhelming. “I'm labeling myself a ‘frazzled English woman.’ It’s like a way to make myself feel better about my bananas life,” she mentions.  To her, this trend is a way to make personal stress and overextending herself more enticing. It is, in its own way, making messy attractive. 

Garaffo claims this is because it’s not just a sartorial choice but a complete lifestyle switch for trend participants — a whole new personality. “You know, I am wearing my scarf and crying in front of the fireplace, writing,” she chuckled. It even sounds perfectly romantic, like a scene from a Hallmark Christmas movie.

In the early 2000s, the aesthetic of choice (before internet ‘aesthetics’ and social media) was the ‘Hot Mess,’ with ripped-up clothes and dramatically smudged eyeliner. Although Frazzled English Woman is nowhere near this dramatic, it is a stark distinction from recent beauty aesthetics like ‘Clean Girl,’ which dominated Tiktok and focused on neutral colors, sick back buns, and drinking green juice. It is also nowhere comparable to ‘Old Money,’ another internet trend that was a take on classic displays of generational wealth. It feels like what social media deems attractive changes with the drop of a hat, or in this case, Charlotte Brontë novel. 

It is overwhelming to think of how quickly this shift happened and how quickly each ‘It Girl’ status can become obsolete. According to Lorynn R. Divita, PhD, an associate professor of apparel design and merchandising at Baylor University, this is a symptom of social media being a constant breeding ground of ultra-fast-fashion brands, making these trends feel manufactured. For example, a company that makes scarves or oversized coats would promote content like ‘Frazzled English Woman’ to increase sales and grow its brand. "Companies are continually looking for these trends online, which they then quickly manufacture and promote," Divita said.

Perhaps this is also one reason the shift from perfectly clean-cut and prim-and-proper statements, like ‘Clean Girl,’ to disheveled and scruffy ones, like ‘Frazzled English Woman,’ was so rapid. Divita posited that often, when something gets extremely popular online — whether it be ‘Clean Girl’ or  ‘Old Money’ — a countertrend emerges for those who can't relate, like our messy romantic comedy star.

So, what exactly is so attractive about being a British mess in a chunky sweater? To Da Silva, it’s about not appearing like you are putting in effort. In fear of being told she is trying too hard, she and many women like her constant goal is to be effortlessly beautiful and not ‘too much work.’

 To Garaffo, it’s a way to be accepted. “There is comfort in belonging,” she states, “ If there’s a way that I can look like, act like to make my life better? Then, I am leaning into it because we all want to belong. We want to fit in; we want to feel a sense of safety.” 

Then again, maybe it’s really just about feeling connected to a character—or perhaps even romanticizing being one. 

Playing into this aesthetic is a way to push through insecurities, forget about stressors, and make your chaotic life feel beautiful. It’s escapism wrapped up in an uneven hand-knitted scarf. 

I mean, who wouldn’t want to dream about their crazy day ending with a sensational and romantic love confession at the airport? Romanticizing your life is a great escape, and you don’t have to actually be Bridget Jones to do so.